Cannonball Run II

So the other night I was surfing Dish for something to watch and lo' and behold what to my wondering eye should appear, but none other than good ole Burt Reynolds and Shirley MacLaine dear. There are few movies that are worse than Cannonball Run II. Here's why. CRII as I shall call it henceforth, had tons of celebrities in it. Please note I used the term celebrities instead of actors. There's a reason why I make this distinction. Most of these celebrities were soooo bad in this they don't get to be called actors. I won't do it no sir. I can't figure out who acts the worst in the movie. Is it Burt, or is it Dom DeLuise, or Jamie Farr, or Jack Elam, Sammy Davis Jr., or Dean Martin. I'm not sure that it matters.

It's as if the whole cast were in on this joke, that none of the audience could or would ever get. The tone of the movie is basically 'Yeah we know it sucks and we do too, thanks for your 7 bucks." The seven bucks is simply a guess back to that time when it hit the theaters and how much I think a movie ticket cost. What's really astounding is that Shirley MacLaine shows up to slum it up in this cinematic dungheap. Yowza! she must have been doing some remodeling on her Malibu mansion to sign on to this crapfest.

Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. during their scenes seem to have a permanent case of the giggles and can't keep straight faces while delivering their lines, which is understandable but no less maddening. Later, in the film Sammy Davis wears an Arabic concubine get up as if he were betrothed to a Saudi sheik. Two words.... Not Pretty!

Burt Reynolds and Shirley MacLaine are each other's love interest in the movie but only after she sheds her nun's garb and comes clean to Burt and Dom's characters. Truly, it is very sweet and romantic as they make-out with one another in the back of a faux, olive-drab military style limousine. That they suck face while everyone else is in the front seat listening and watching them is a seriously and voyeuristicly cinematic treat. Jackie Chan makes a debut on the American film scene by not speaking any English and kicking and fighting his way through the plot holes that abound throughout Hal Needham's masterpiece. Want a little Greek flavor? How about Telly Savalas as the bad guy who acts badly... it's a matched set enjoy! Or Jamie Farr as the Saudi sheik? I'm not lying, seriously a sheik who decided to enter a car race across the country for prize money. Aren't sheiks already mega-rich?

All things considered, I believe I have to give the worst acting award (please note I only said"worst acting" and not "actor") to Dom Deluise. Dom's acting is truly breath-taking in its scope of putridness.... is that a real word? If not let's christen it especially for Deluise. Idiotic and retarded simply aren't strong enough to adequately detail his grand eminence's display of exactly how not to behave in front of a camera. That everyone else is doing their level best to equal his badness is simply a testament to his craft. His craft of badness we shall call it. I say a close second is of course Burt Reynolds. Really after the first CR he should have known better. Third place goes to Shirley MacLaine for slumming it up for the check.

Now this is not to discourage you from taking time out of your busy schedules to take a gander at this film atrocity, because even something this amateurish can be downright entertaining. So if you decide to undertake this piece o' crap, please do so on an empty stomach, cleaning up chunks after CRII is not as much fun as it sounds.